How do these people survive?

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw
on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
Chicken McN! uggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We
don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine,
or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen
nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook
my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO &n bsp; I was checking out at the local
K-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her
things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the
girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider
," looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan
it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I
don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid
her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had
just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a
credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very
quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said
she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit card number, so she w! as usin g the ATM "thingy."

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She
replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this
remote door unlocker. Now I can'! t get i nto my car. Do you
think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would
have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have
an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the
key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a
long walk."

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern
who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to
a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What
do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary
told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining
blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and
proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago
, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The
front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I
asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the
driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the
back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN My neighbour works in the operations
department in the central office of a large bank. Employees
in the field call him when they have problems with their
computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of
the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke
coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
downtown?"

EIGHT Police in Maryborough , Queensland
, Australia interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a
photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in
the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time
they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing
the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE A mother calls 000 very worried asking
the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency
room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to
give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother
says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush
him in to emergency

Life is tough but it's tougher if you're
stupid!"





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