I've got 2 dogs.
I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Walmart and was standing in line at the check-out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 75lbs. before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her no, it was 'because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me.'
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid bitch...why else would I buy dog food??
