Lets all play a game together, Ok this is the ? game, where each of you can participate in asking a question. Now be sure to come back and see what the next person answered of it. Ok, I start it out with asking 1.question, so who ever comes to comment first will get this question, Then they leave a answer of the question and leave another question for the next one and so on.,Each of you dont answer all ?'s just the one in the comment above the space your fixing to comment in. Got it? Ok, lets see how many questions we can ask. You can ask anything, just the next person needs to answer it and leave another ? for the next person. Or you may choose to come back and check in for another ? if u dont want to answer the one in line for you. my question is ... have you ever been to jail ??
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...
Satan: "Why so glum?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway."
Guy: "Gee that sounds great!"
Satan: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it"
Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. ;If you get! cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"
Guy: "Wow...that's awesome!"
Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."
Satan: "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter,
you're dead anyhow."
Guy: "Cool!"
Satan: "What about drugs?"
Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?"
Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares."
Guy: "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"
Satan: "You gay?"
Guy: "No..."
Satan: "Oooo, Fridays are gonna be tough..."
 WELL ANOTHER BAR TENDER IS GONE ! WHY YOU ASK ...HERE ARE JUST A FEW OF THE REASONS .. #1 SHE NEVER GOT HER BARTENDERS PERMIT.. WE AGAVE HER $30.OO 2 MONTHS AGO AND I CALLED THE A.B.C. AND SHE NEVER APPLIED FOR THEM ! $30.00 SHOT ALL TO HELL. # 2 I WONDERED HOW SHE WAS MAKINGH SO MANY TIPS.. WELL 2 TIMES THE REGISTER WAS SHORT ! ONCE BY $50.00 AND THEN $150.00 ! CUT HER OFF THAT AND THEN THIS LAST WEEKEND THE JUKE BOX WHICH SHE HAS KEYS TO GET IN TO FOR CHANGE WAS $70.00 SHORT ! OMG ! WHAT A THEIF ! THAN I HERE FROM CUSTOMERS THAT SHE WAS KEEPING THEIR CHANGE WHEN THEY WERE 1/2 WAY DRUNK !#3 SHE IS A DRAMA QUEEN ! WINE WINE WINE IS ALL I HEARD ! THAT IS WHEN SHE WASN`T PLAYING POOL OR OUTSIDE WITH HER BOYFRIEND ! #4 HER CELL PHONE RANG CONSTANTLY ! DROVE ME CRAZY ! #5 IS WAS ALL ABOUT HER AND THE BIG TIPPERS ! #6 SHE WAS LATE 4 OR 5 TIMES IN A MONTH ! SHALL I GO ON ?? I WON`T ..I THINK YOU HAVE THE PICTURE ! NOW WE ARE TRAIMING A NEW GIRL .. HOPE THE HELL SHE WORKS OUT ! ANYBODY WANT TO BUY A BAR ?? LOL
 WELL HERE IS MY BODY GUARD ! LOL HE IS A SWEETY AND YEP A GOOD FRIEND ! HE WAS SO UPSET CAUCE I DON`T HAVE A PIC OF HIM AND ME ! WELL HERE IS ONE ! SSHH ! I CAN KICK HIS ASS BUT DON`T TELL ! LOL HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD TUESDAY ! I HAVE LOTS TO TELL YOU TOMORROW ! RIGHT NOW I THINK I MIGHT GO TO BED ! HUGS KIM
 OMG WHAT A WEEKEND ! IT ALL STARTED THURWSDAY NIGHT WHEN 4 NEW GUYS IN TOWN THAT ARE BUILDING THE ETHANOL PLANT JUMP ONE OF OUR LOCALS AND GOOD CUSTOMERS ! THEY MORE OR LESS BEAT HIM UP OUTSEIDE THE BAR .. HE HAS SEVERAL FRIENDS HERE IN THIS SMALL TOWN AND YEP FRIDAY NIGHT IN THEY ALL CAME .. ABOUT 20 TO 25 OF THEM. WELL THE POLICE KNOW HOW IT GOES WHEN YOU MESS WITH THESE GUYYS ! ANYWAYS THE ONES THAT JUMPED THE GUY LIVE RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE BAR. WE HAD 5 STATE POLICE , 3 COUNTY , AND 6 CITY COPS STANDING OUTSIDE OUR DOOR ALL NIGHT ! THE LOCALS WERE GETTING KINDA LOUD (AS DRUNK PEOPLE DO) SO THE POLICE MADE US CLOSES DOWN AT 2.30 A.M. INSTEAD OF 3.30.. NO PROBLEM ! WELL NEXT COMES SATURDAY AND IN THEY ALL CAME AGAIN ! REVENGE TIME ..THEY THOUGHT ! I WAS SITTTING UP FRONT AND HEARD A HELL OF A FIGHT IN THE BACK OF THE BAR ! NOTHING TO DO BUT CALL THE POLICE AGAIN ! COME TO FIND OUT 3 OF THE OUT OF TOWNERS RAN IN THE BACK DOOR AND THE FIGHT WAS ON ! HERE COMES THE STATE AGAIN ! HUBBY WAS UP HERE IN BED AS HE ALWAYS IS ON OUR BUSY NIGHTS ! (WHIMP ) LOLI WAS AN ACTUAL MESS ! NO ONE WENT TO JAIL BUT OUTSIDE STOOD THE COPS ALL NIGHT ! I THINK TOMORROW I AM GOING TO THE STATION AND FINDING OUT THERE NAMES ! THE NEW COMERS AND GETTING A TRESSPASSING ORDER AGAINST ALL OF THEM ! I HAVE TO SOMETHING OR WE WILL BE CLOSED DOWN BY THE STATES FOR FIGHTS ! ANYONE HAVE ANY OTHERS SUGGESTIONS ??THIS HAS TO STOP OR I AM GOING TO BE IN THE NUT HOUSE !! COO COO COO COO !! HOPE YOU ALL HAD A BETTER WEEKEND THEN I DID ! THE MONEY WAS GOOD , BUT THAT DON`T MATTER IF THEY CLCOSE US DOWN !
 FINALLY MY STOOL IS DONE ! THIS IS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE AND HE RE COVERED MY BAR STOOL ! I LOVE THE BUCKEYES AND I THING THIS IS JUST GREAT ! IT TOOK HIM 3 WEEKS LONGER TO DO IT THEN I THOUGHT , BUT IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT ! I HAVE BEEN THREATHENED BY SO MANY PEOPLE .. THEY SAY THEY ARE GOING TO PAINT A BIG YELLOW M ON IT FOR MICHIGAN ! I HATE THEM ! ANYONE WHO DOES ANYTHING TO THIS STOOL IS BARRED FOR LIFE IF THEY CAN GET UP OFF THE FLOOR AFTER I AM DONE WITH THEM ! LOL GUESS IT AINT A 5REAL GOOD IDEA TO HAVE AN OHIO STATE CHAIR IN A INDIANA BAR ! WE SHALL SEE ! HUGS KIM
 THESE ARE GREAT PEOPLE ! YEP THAY ARE DIFFERENT BUT THAT IS FINE WITH ME ! THEY CAME TO THIS LITTLE TOWN IN INDIANA FROM FLORIDA ! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING ?? THEY COME TO THE BAR EVERY OTHER NIGHT ..LAST NIGHT HUBBY ( MY ASS ) WAS LIKE HE ALWAYS IS AND I SERVED THEM.. I GOT THE TIP !! YEAH ME !! THEY EVEN TOLD ME NOT TO GIVE HIM ANY OF IT ! I AM A FRIENDY AND HAPPY PERSON WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING THE BAR GO ..HE DON`T CARE ! ANYWAYS 2 THUMBS UP FOR ME !! HOPE EVERYBODY IS DOING GOOD ! LUV YA JULI ! WISH I COULD BE THERE !! HUGGS TO ALL AND SLEEP TIGHT !
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: 'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.' ************************** In a Podiatrist's office: ************************** Yesterday's Meals on Wheels ************************** At a Proctologist's door: 'To expedite your visit, please back in.' ************************** 'We repair what your husband fixed.' ************************** On another Plumber's truck: 'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.' ************************** On a Church's Bill board: '7 days without God makes one weak.' ************************** 'Invite us to your next blowout.' ************************** 'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.' ************************** On an Electrician's truck: 'Let us remove your shorts.' ************************** 'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.' ************************** On a Maternity Room door: ************************** At an Optometrist's Office: 'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.' ************************** On a Taxidermist's window: 'We really know our stuff.' ************************** 'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!' ************************** 'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.' ************************** 'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.' ************************** In a Veterinarian's waiting room: 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!' ************************** 'We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.' ************************** 'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.' ************************** In the front yard of a Funeral Home: 'Drive carefully. We'll wait.' ************************** At a Propane Filling Station: 'Thank heaven for little grills.' ************************** And don't forget the sign at a 'Best place in town to take a leak.' Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: 'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises'
 | HE HE HE | Aug 10, '08 3:01 PM
for everyone |
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the
Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping To find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little
old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.
The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?”
The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a Tie?
They are only $5.”
The Taliban shouted, “Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water!
I should kill you, but I must find water first!”
“OK,” said the old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not
want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger
than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles,
you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need.
Shalom.”
Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead.
“Your f*ck*ng brother won't let me in without a tie!”
 THIS IS ME AND FALICIA ! SHE WORKED FOR YEARS AS A BARTENDER ! SHE WAS GREAT UNTIL SHE LEFT US FOR TEXAS ! TWICE.. NOW SHE IS BACK AND I HOPE SHE WORKS FOR US AGAIN ! EVERYBODY LUVED HER ! SO DO I ... THE NEW ONE HAS ALOT OF ISSUES AND HAS LIED TOO MANY TIMES FOR ME TO TOLORATE !! I AM PUTING MY FOOT DOWN AND SHE WON`T LIKE IT .. YEP I AM A BITCH !! ANYWAYS LET ME INTRODUVE YOU ALL TO FLIPPER ! THAT IS WHAT WE CALLED FALICIA ! SHE IS BACK !! I LOVE IT !!
| humm !! | Aug 4, '08 9:41 PM
for everyone |
LOOK AT MY PAGE ! THIS IS MY MOOD TONIGHT !! HUBBY WILL BE SORRY ! LOL
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black? " Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet. "He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black? " Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!" The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely...... A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k
 O.K. HERE IS THE WHAT WENT ON.... HUBBY IS AN IDOT AND ME AND THIS GIRL MADE IT WORK !!! YEP THE BAR DONE GREAT ~! I LOVE IT !! ANYWAYS I HAVE THE MONEY IN MY POCKET AND TNE DUMMY I MARIED IS PASSED OUT !! SORRY BOUT HIS LUCK ! I WENT AND GOT A 3 THOUND DOLLLAR LOAN TO KEEP THE BAR GOING ! IT WORKED !! YEP I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING ! I HAVENT HAD ANY SLEEP FOR 3 DAYS NOW IT IS TIME !! LUV YA ALL I AM OFF TO BEDDY BYE !!
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'
The social worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2007 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has ! a rather strong sex drive.
A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc. located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year.'
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, ' You're bullshittin' me!! '
The social worker said, 'Yea, well... you started it. ______________________________________________________________________________
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
What do attorneys use for birth control?
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ." -
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....
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| NEW TOY | Jul 27, '08 5:27 PM
for everyone |
 THIS IS MY SISTER AND BROTHER IN LAWS NEW BIKE . IT IS A 2006 .. DANG IT MUST BE NICE ! MY OLD PICK UP IS ON IT`S LAST LEGG.. OR SHOULD I SAY TIRE ??
 HERE IS A FEW THINGS FROM THE GARDEN THIS YEAR . HUBBY PLANTS AND PICKS AND I CLEAN IT. WE SELL IT AT THE BAR AND SAVE THE MONEY FOR NEXT YEARS PLANTING !
 ME AND SOME FRIENS BEING FOOLISH ! IT RELEIVES TENSION ! LOL
 I HAVE NEVER SEEN ONE OF THESE AND THEY WERE ALL OVER TOWN THIS WEEK ! IT IS THE 100TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE MODLE T AND YEP I WAS TAKING PICS !! I WANTED TO GET MY PIC TOOK SETTING IN ONE , BUT DIDN1``T THINK IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO JUMP IN ONE WITHOIT PERMISSION !
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